I was never really convinced that I was addicted to shopping; I thought it was a normal part of womanhood; a rite of passage so to speak. I only realized there was a problem when I never had any money left.
Compulsive buying disorder is now recognized in the DSM under a personality disorder. When I studied psychology i knew briefly about this disorder and I felt it hit a nerve with me.
it is well known that Compulsive shopping is related to depression . I personally suffered from depression pretty deep. The dead end jobs did not get me anywhere in life; in fact I could not even rent an apartment. I desperately needed an outlet; reasons for me to even have a job in the first place. My reason became shopping.
My depression was very bad at one point. I didn't want to even be around people for a while.Then at some point shopping was no longer fun but something I needed.When I would go shopping it wasn't for anything so much as it was just to spend my money.
I was a value shopper; I like to stretch my dollar to buy as much as I could with my small paycheck.For me shopping was all about finding that special deal. It was never about the item but rather what satisfaction I got out of getting the best deal. I was proud that I could buy so much for so little money.
was doing little shopping or buying until I had access to online shopping,I started shopping on e-bay and bid on multiple items often winning most of the items. The only problem was while I got great deals I overextended myself and was blocked from e-bay. Next I have spent about $10,000 at Amazon roughly a year's income for me !
One day ,someone adviced me to go see a psychiatrist ,i started a treatment and learned how to deal with the emotions behind my addiction.I was aware that I had a problem that i felt bigger than me!
The treatment allowed me to go back to college,i got a slightly better job and finally got my own apartment in 2008 .That was what saved me; having bills to pay. I no longer had money to blow and finally life had meaning. I was living for my independence and freedom. i felt Soo good !